Report

Woolwell Juniors 5 Callington Colts Juniors 1

BEFORE kick-off you look for omens, like with the opposition’s kit – orange in the case of Woolwell.

Would that be orange as in 1970sHollandand ‘let’s all play football’ football, or orange as in 2010Blackpooland ‘let’s not bother with a defence’?

Wrong. Woolwell had developed something completely new. They’d obviously had a spy at the Colts’ epic 5-1 win at Horrabridge.

They’d seen ‘Flash’ Jamie’s speed down the wing, Big Ben’s power up front and Crazyhorse Corey’s dribbles through the middle.

Woolwell’s response was to slow the Colts down with a long grass game.

The pitch looked like it was ready for silage not soccer.

By the time the Colts had hacked their way through the undergrowth, they were 2-0 down.

Big Ben beat the defence, beat the keeper – and was beaten by the grass. The ball refused to do the decent thing and cross the line.

The Special One’s half-time team talk urged the lads to keep their heads up and remember that they would be playing with the wind after the break. I think he was hoping that a gale might flatten the grass.

After the break it was more of the same.

Braveheart Joe, Terriers Tom and Tyler, Beckenbauer Bailey, Bob Dylan – his hair blowin’ in the wind – and Alfie the Great were doing their Red Coat routine in the sequel to Rorke’s Drift.

But this time the Zulus were winning. Even with Connor the Gift putting the silky stuff on hold and getting stick in, Flash flying into tackles, Crunch Callum defending for his life, Agent Adam dropping deep for midfield missions and the James Twins everywhere, Woolwell couldn’t be stopped.

Everything Woolwell hit, went in – 3-0, 4-0, 5-0; everything the Colts hit wouldn’t, but still heads didn’t drop.

5-0. You hoped the ref would blow before the grass grew even higher and their No 10 got even taller; he was twice the size of Crunch.

Suddenly the Gift parted the pampas grass through the middle and found Big, who turned, twisted and bang! The goal of the game for 5-1.

Crazyhorse  smacked a 20-yard free kick round the wall which their keeper did well to hold at the near post.

So the Colts bossed the last five minutes 1-0.

Last time they lost by 11 to Woolwell. This time they went down by four, a net improvement of seven goals.

At that rate of progress the Colts are due for a 3-0 win on their next visit – assuming Woolwell ease off the Miracle Gro and find a mower

Next up Keyham Kolts Away