This season has been a journey for us, we started out as fresh faced virgin players but we are now hardened professionals waiting to pounce on the title for our chance at glory.

The long hard season started with a 5-1 defeat at the hands of BMFC. They showed us how to play football, it wasn't all about running up to the box and then slowly meandering back when defending, they should us that to survive in this league we needed to become fitter, faster and stronger and over the course of the season I think we have. In the beginning we were scared of a bit of exercise after a match are hearts were exploding because they couldn't cope with the increased supply of blood our body craved and our legs were stiffer than Will Young watching videos of Justin Fashnu. Now though we have become footballing machines are bodies are reacting to training and I believe we will challenge for the title next season.

Against BMFC we were missing Atif (the Asian Petr Cech) Khan who was away trying to find a Latvian wife so in heroic style Simon Binns deputised for him between the posts. The only goal for us and the first ever goal to be scored for CPAFC came courtesy of a majestic strike by Jim Boorman, turning his defender and smacking the ball past the keeper with a right footed thunder bolt.

The following week we played our first match against our bogey team the very hard to beat and well organised Giant Robot. Unfortunately this was our 2nd defeat of the season with the score line reading 9-6 to the Robots. There were some positives to take away from this game though as we managed to create 6 goals.

Week three was a testing match for our boys as their inspirational team leader and footballing mentor lord Danny Cassidy (Me) was away on holiday building sandcastles, sun bathing and drinking san Miguel. The score was 8-5 to the Real M.E deal (a team possibly named because they've all got M.E but I'm not sure) As I was away soaking up the sun I don't know the scorers but I reckon Kennedy got a few (Khanny will try claim one as well but I'm certain he didn't score!!)

When the team, the crowd and the whole nation were expecting an exciting game between CPAFC and WHADDUNGA it was called off, WHADDUNGA pulling out off the league at the last minute (I reckon they were just scared of the mauling they would have been given by us!) This handed CPAFC our first ever victory awarding us a 10-0 default win, I would've liked to have actually played against someone but 3 points is 3 points at the end of the day!

Fresh after a week to rest our tired legs we played F Unit FC in what is to date our biggest ever defeat. The final score was 11-5 in a game marred by controversy with the referee making several dubious decision against us and generally having a poor game, however as I can smell an FA disciplinary fine so I will retract that comment and just say the best team won and stay away from any slanderous comments about the ref (he was shite though!!!)

Finally the day came! yes a week after the disappointment of our biggest ever defeat we bounced back with a great display and our first ever real victory. We were playing Not so Goodfellows and true to their name they weren't that good. Helped along by the impressive debut of Phil"Eidur Gud"Johnson we cruised to a 9-2 victory. Phil wrapped up his man of the match display with a well worked goal. The score was raised even higher with a brace for both Graeme Kennedy and myself Pope Danny Cassidy VII.

In the absence of Phil (I'm too good to play in Division 8 I should be playing for Athletico Madrid) Johnson CPAFC were back to losing, this time in an 11 goal thriller with Dynamic 5 although having goals by Graeme (Hibernians loss is our gain) Kennedy, James (John Barnes) Caves and myself we still lost 7-4.

The season was getting a little tough for me at this stage so off I went again to lounge in the sunshine, this time jetting of for a week long drunken karaoke session with my mate Matt. The team recorded their record highest win in my absence avenging the early 5-1 defeat and demolishing BMFC in a 13-2 master class.

I was back to witness the rematch with Giant Robot and yet again those metallic giants beat us this time running out 5-3 victors. A few people were lacking the cutting edge in this game and I hold my hand up and admit that due to my minor jet lag and week long hangover I wasn't up to my usual best.

CPAFC then played the eventual champions The Real M.E deal in our tightest ever game the low scoring defending festival which was the 3-1 defeat. This game was not about skill, flair or footballing ability. The Real M.E deal players should've all been atleast booked with some of them lucky to get away without being charged for grievous bodily harm in what was the dirtiest ever game. Boots and fists were both flying and I think we were lucky to escape with all our limbs intact.

Allowing a week to let our war wounds heel we played Liverpool Pensioners and gave them a battering (no we didn't go beating up O.A.P's but we did win by 6 clear goes in a 7-1 demolition.) Graeme Kennedy grabbing the headlines with a stunningly taken hat-trick, a special mention also goes to Atif Khan who saved a penalty but also watched as the rebound trickled past him, a penalty save is still a penalty save though so well done Atif!

The celebrations however were short lived with CPAFC crashing back down to earth when we played F unit FC in a 9-7 battle. Unfortunately we lost but the introduction of 4 goal hero debutant James Wood made the team believe we could challenge for major honours. The capture of the white Pele James Wood was the first major transfer by CPAFC and after we attained his signature the future began to look rosy.

This rosy future was demonstrated in the penultimate game were we taught Not so Goodfellows a footballing lesson, adding another 2 goals to the previous 9-2 victory and humiliating them with an 11-2 score line. This victory came without new signing Wood as he had pulled out due to contracting chronic diarrhea. His footballing spirit was on show however with Graeme (Just call me Andy Cole against Ipswich in 1995) getting himself a tally of 5 goals.

The final game was played out against Dynamic 5 in a close game which ended in defeat, CPAFC being on the wrong side of a 9-7 score line. This however didn't affect out overall standing in the league as we were already guaranteed 5th position.

During season one we learnt a lot about ourselves as a team. We managed to achieve our season objective by consolidating our place in the league with a strong 5th place finish. This was very good for our first season and if we were in the Premiership we'd be celebrating a Uefa cup spot now probably dipping into the transfer kitty and purchasing an experienced European player to help us on tricky away trips to Locomotive Moscow and Sparta Prague. We must look at this season as a stepping stone, we've proved we can play with the big boys and now its our time to push for the prestigious Division 8 crown. Throughout the season we've had our ups and our downs but as a team we've come through it stronger than we started, we've all had times when we've shouted at each other and moaned about results but we've been there in the bad times as a team and at the end of next season when we win the league we'll be there celebrating as a team!

you guys are a pleasure to play with and I'm proud to be a member of CPAFC. your are all champions in my eyes. Thanks for a great season and I'll look forward to this time next season when we're embracing in the drunken camaraderie on the victory parade through Morley in the back of Neville's Saab.

Your Founder, Chairman, website manager, youth team coach, programme seller, celebrity fan, mascot and footballing guru.

Sgt Danny Cassidy OBE