Report

 Farny Villa 2 – 0 Barnstone Celtics

Lester 8

Watson 68

Date: Sunday 6^th November 2011

Farny Villa Team:

Musson

Midget (Gallimore 80)

Nasty

Badger *

Cal Whiting

Jack Weiss

Maj (Booked 30)

Danny Weiss

Ollie Watson (1)

Danny Garratt

Stevie Lester (1) (Cookie 90+2)

Unused Subs: None

Assist: The Wattinator & Jack Weiss

Half time: Farny Villa 1 – 0 Barnstone Celtics

Attendance: 36 – Season tickets obviously don’t include cup games. Within that lot there were a couple of dogs and some canines were also spotted on the sidelines (ba-boom).

Whisper it quietly but the Farnsfield revolution is slowly but surely gaining the sort of momentum akin to a steam train which would therefore have Cookie stretching for the Kleenex (that’s the train bit, not the fact that Farny are on fire). Five consecutive victories, married with clean sheets in the past two outings, 3^rd in the league and now through to the next round of the Willie Hall cup as well as the Notts cup, it’s no wonder that Sir Geoff has got a smile on his face, well it’s either that or he’s been awkwardly breaking wind.

This was possibly one of the worst performances that Farny have put together thus far this season but at the end of the day they negotiated a tricky Willie Hall cup tie which provided some welcome solace for a competition which has brought nothing but failure in the past few years. Defeats to The Villa, Hobgoblin and Farndon still remain fresh in the memory so to get to round 3 is pretty pleasing although to be honest, you get the impression that they should rename the cup the “see who’s lucky enough to avoid RHP for the longest” cup, although that’d be a right b*stard to etch on the silverware. Anyway, the biggest problem for Farny prior to kick off was ascertaining how to fill the void left by Haggis being unavailable for selection, a problem punctuated further by Will Smart and Ad Locker also being elsewhere. The decision was taken to move Badger to centre half and give Midget a run out at full back. That aside, the team was the same as the one which had beaten Barnstone 5-1 on the opening day of the season. That day had not been as comfortable as the scoreline suggested and the same would be true of Sunday as Farny laboured to a routine victory against a team who played the majority of the 2^nd half a man light after one of the more comical sending offs – more of that later.

In resplendent November sunshine the game started a little later than usual with Farnsfield sporting their new all red attire. Within 5 minutes the visitors could have been celebrating a fine start to the match but Mussons foot preserved parity as the Barnstone lad should really have done better when he found himself in acres of space some 12 yards out. The young visiting team were soon made to rue this miss as Farny scored with their first meaningful attack of the game. Cal started a move down th left which led to Watson and Garratt playing a cheeky one two out wide which culminated in the former bearing in on goal. The keeper made a fine save to deny Watson but the ball parried nicely for him to cut back for Stevie Lester to tap home from 3 yards for his 2^nd of the campaign. This goal gave Farny the impetus to drive on and assert their authority which they did without getting past Barnstones fine goalkeeper and the woodwork. Watson rattled the foot of the post as he got his 50p head onto Nasty’s long free kick and the keeper then made a fine reflex save from Stevies close range header following Jack Weiss’ cross. Midget failed to execute the rebound as the ball got stuck in his legs and then Badger was denied by a brilliant save as he tried his luck from 20 yards out. It wasn’t all plain sailing as the centre half pairing of Nasty and Badger both had to make desperate last ditch tackles and when the Farny offside trap was sprung Musson came to the rescue by standing tall and saving with his feet as the strike bore down on him one on one. Amidst the football there was an underlying air of nigglyness (is that a word?) and petulance as both teams struggled to maintain their discipline. This was indicated when Maj was booked for (if you were to believe the remonstrating of Barnstones captain), going round to a lads house and pissing on the dining room table on Christmas morning. Musson took grievance with this and marched some 50 yards to remonstrate with said captain and the lad who had allegedly been trodden on got up and got on with the game.

Half time arrived and gave the Farny contingent time to regroup and concentrate on playing football as opposed to getting involved in petulant handbags but the key thing was that Stevies early strike separated the two sides. Within minutes of the restart you may have seen Tom Cruise mooching about down the Acres as it soon became Mission Impossible for the visitors as the ref was forced to hand out more cards than Clintons. The “Respect” campaign run by the FA was well and truly chucked out of the window as the Barnstone number 5 showed a complete disregard to the man in black, and we’re not talking Will Smith here. His captain had been rightly booked for raking his studs down Danny Weiss and number 5 also had a yellow card brandished in his direction for querying the referees decision. Now I’m no Einstein, but I do know that if you have just been booked by the ref it is advisable to not do one of the 3 following things:

1. Question the refs sexuality

2. Imply that he enjoys being the recipient of f*llatio from another man &

3. Say the above in a loud enough voice for the referee and everyone else to hear it

Number 5 appeared to be of the age where he should have known better but promptly broke all of the 3 above rules and incredibly looked surprised when he was given a straight red. He headed to the changing rooms and the 10 men of Barnstone were left with a proverbial mountain to climb.

To be honest, they did a pretty decent job of climbing that proverbial mountain and could have equalised when a long ball caught out Musson and the striker flicked the ball goalwards. Nasty produced a fat defying burst of pace and energy and managed to squeeze the ball off the line to preserve the lead. The game was now more open than Rhiannas legs as Barnstone pushed forward and Farny tried to make the additional body count. Jack Weiss shot narrowly wide and then Badger released Garratt who was through one on one. The keeper stood tall and Garratts calm flick hit the outside of the post and rolled to safety. Within minutes Farny were gifted the perfect opportunity to put the game beyond reach as Garratt bamboozled the defender in the box and then had his legs taken away from him. The ref pointed to the spot, the mandatory protestations were kept clean and Weissy steadied himself for the opportunity to notch his 7^th of the season. I don’t know who was more scare, the nesting birds or the people on flight CA434 from East Midlands to Venice as Weissy went for the top corner and contrived to miss the goal in its entirety. The reprieve was shortlived as within 5 minutes Ollie Watson put the game beyond Barnstones reach. Musson inadvertently began the move by spilling a routine catch and clearing the ball to a Barnstone player. Badger made a tackle and Danny Weiss fed Jack Weiss out on the right. Jack did well to keep the ball in play before delivering a pinpoint cross to the back post where Watson outjumped the defender and powered the ball back past the keeper with a fine header, which in reality came off his ear.

2 goals to the good against 10 men you’d like to have thought that it would have been an easy ride for the remaining 20 minutes but Barnstone kept going to the end. The Farnsfield cause wasn’t aided by Midgets calves seizing up (yet again) so Gallimore came on for the last 10 at full back. The visitors could have snatched a late consolation as they forced a succession of corners which the keeper came trundling up for and Musson was forced into a fabulous late save which saw him tip the ball over the bar. With time almost up, Cookie came on for a last minute cameo in place of Stevie Lester and the ref soon confirmed that Farnsfield would be in the next round and have a visit to BWMC or the Fox (Kirton).

So the 5^th straight victory ensures a passage into round 3 and Farny have avoided the poisoned chalice of a trip against RHP in the next round so there is a sniff of getting to the dizzy heights of the quarter finals. This was by no great shakes the best performance from Farny but the back line remained firm and resolute throughout as did the 2^nd half discipline. Badger was an immovable rock at the heart of the defence and was rightly acknowledged with the man of the match and a cheeky free pint and let’s hope that the back line remains firm next week as it’s back to league matters and a visit from Newark Flowserve.