Grindleton F.C
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Gary's Stropometer
Pendle Athletic Home 12/05/2012 [12 May @ 6:25pm]
With Geoff by his side once again, things were quiet on the touchline. A few disagreements with the travelling players over Gary's use of the flag, or inuse at times resulted in some choice words exchanged, but nothing that Gary is famous for. Not even when goalkeeper Sharples went walkabout did Gary chirp up. In fact the team got more of a reaction from Gary when North stated that he wasn't hungry in the pub after the game. A blunt statement that rhymes with 'rollocks' was blurted out and a look of shock, confusement, and inablity to understand the position thrown at him was plastered over the old builders face.
Stropometer - 5
Wilsden Athletic Away 17/05/2012 [21 May @ 8:42pm]
Despite the poor form in the league from Gary's beloved home side, his spirits have been lifted, not only by Geoff, but by his teams success in the cup competitions. Travelling to Wilsden in a battle for a place in the final, Gary was confident of a cup final double. With fellow idiot sons Ryan and Daniel by his side, Gary stood on the touchline with his chest out proudly as the game kicked off.
Unfortunatley for Gary, his side did not perform and were eventually beaten by the home team. This however, did not result in a response from the man famed for his poetic rants at the players. If anything, he was overshadowed by youngest son Ryan. Is it time for the stropometer to be passed from father to son?
Stropometer - 1
Skipton LMS Away 19/05/2012 [21 May @ 8:48pm]
With threats of the stropometer being passed from father to son at the game at Wilsden two days previously. It was felt that Gary needed to pull something out of the top drawer. Something from yester-year. Something that will regain his title of Chief Spitter Of Dummy!
Again with sons by his side, Gary was largely silent letting his sons do most of the abusing. However, Gary went for the quiet approach and came out with a pot of gold. A phrase along the lines of, "Well, they're still a bunch of counts these lot!"
Despite being rather meek, is it a step in the right direction?
Stropometer - 2
Rolls Royce Neutral 24/05/2012 [28 May @ 12:32pm]
Obviously feeling nervous before watching his side take part in a cup final, Gary's stropometer reached its peak for the night before a ball was even kicked. With the big wigs of the league attending, Gary didn't start things off well after being reminded of an outstanding fine. Responding with a rage of abuse it was difficult to tell if his face was red due to anger or exposure to the sun. Slamming the door in the face of the league official didn't seem to calm him down as his rant continued despite the victim no longer being present.
Stropometer - 8
Ighton Leigh Away 26/05/2012 [28 May @ 12:35pm]
Despite seeing cup success 2 days before, Gary was back on form after hearing that son Ryan was to play in goal, despite a ruined knee. An argument between the two followed with the usual four lettered tyrade being thrown at Ryan who, as usual, ignored his fathers rants as he strapped up the injured knee. May I remind readers that when Ryan did the injury, he was moved into a strikers role to get out of the way due to lack of substitutions. When Ryan physically couldn't chase a long ball, Gary abused him something rotten from the side lines - now he's saying he can't play X-months after the injury occured?
Stropometer - 6
Skipton LMS Home 10/09/2011 [12 Sep @ 6:04pm]
After great anticipation from the players for the seasons first Stropometer, Gary didn't live up to his usual heights throughout the game being described as calm and quiet. The only time a hint of Gary of old was when son D.Fawcett began to tell spectators why R.Fawcett wasn't available for selection. A tiny rant along the lines of 'Shut up, it's none of your business' was heard on the sidelines.
Rating - 1
Cowling Home 17/9/2011 [18 Sep @ 4:40pm]
For the second week running Gary was seen to be very calm despite watching his team get beat. The lack of abusive outbursts this season is making the players wonder if we'll ever see Gary of old throwing his linesmans flag down the touchline.
Rating - 0
Settle United Home 24/09/2011 [25 Sep @ 4:06pm]
Despite watching his sides worst performance in a very long time, as well as watching the worst refereeing display since the infamous WFC Clitheroe game from 2 seasons ago (incidently by the same referee) Gary has yet to explode into a fiercesome rage this season. A small exchange of words between Gary and his son was probably the only heated words to leave his mouth. Something that usually wouldn't even get a mention. Three games into the season and Gary still standing calm and collected on the sidelines, the players are beginning to worry if they'll ever see Gary in his best form. Rumours that his bromance with Geoff has calmed him down to a placid state are beginning to spread.
Rating - 1
Bronte Wanderers Home 01/10/2011 [3 Oct @ 6:46pm]
Looking on the bright side of a poor result, was the return of the Gary we have learnt to love. With the home side conceeding 3 in as many minutes from kick off, Gary taught the linesmans flag how to fly as he launched it down the line on numourous occasions. Gary let out his built up aggression from past games as his mouth was let free to abuse and insult everyone and anyone. No-one was safe as Gary boiled on the touchline.
Rating - 8
Carleton Home 08/10/2011 [8 Oct @ 5:49pm]
Gary seems to be back to his old self with another great performance on the touchlines. The ever public discussion with son R.Fawcett was flowing with obsenities being slung back and forth across the pitch to each other. Also being a former striker, the number of missed chances didn't go down well with Gary as his frustration was let loose on Sharples. Despite no flag throwing this week, I think I speak on behalf of the club when I say, it's good to have Gary back to his old self
Rating - 7
Horton Away 15/10/2011 [21 Oct @ 6:57pm]
Gary was back in form when he watched his hometown team get kicked off the park. Shouts of abuse from the touchline towards the official echoed around the pitch as red faced Gary appealed for penalties, free kicks, anything! At half time he approached the referee, but was told to leave or get sent off. In the second half Gary continued to hurl abuse at the official but to no avail. After the game he was quoted as saying "After that performance, I don't want to shake your hand."
Rating - 8
Rolls Royce Away 22/10/2011 [24 Oct @ 3:16pm]
Gary was pleased with his teams fightback, but this was not the case for the early part of the second half as he demanded some passion from the players. This was taken to another level when the referee ignored his cries for a throw in and gave a corner kick.
Rating - 6
Settle United Away 12/11/2011 [15 Nov @ 6:12pm]
Gary watched his team with a smile on his face as he saw a fantastic performance, as well as reminised on his own career in Settle. Despite R.Fawcett watching from the sidelines and D.Fawcett back at base, Gary couldn't help but wonder if any of the players on the pitch were his own after bragging about his exploits in Settle.
Stropometer - 2
Earby Town Home 19/11/2011 [24 Nov @ 6:16pm]
Oddly enough, Gary was a quiet as a mouse throughout this encounter. Even when the referee gave away a penalty for an invisible foul. I hope this isn't a return to the bromance Gary of pre-season?
Stropometer - 0
Skipton Town Home 26/11/2011 [1 Dec @ 5:18pm]
Despite his teams fantastic performance, Gary seemed a little bit tetchy throughout the game. Many aggressive grunts were exchanged between himself and the opposite supporters after they complained about his abilities as a linesman. This continued well throughout the match but luckily never transferred to the players on the pitch.
Stropometer - 8
Bentham Away 21/01/2012 [23 Jan @ 5:50pm]
After a break from watching his favourite team due to the Christmas break Gary couldn't wait to get back into the swing of his strop. Unfortunately all his built up rage was used prematurely when he came across a felled tree in the road caused by the terrible winds. Despite the tree being inanimate, Gary tried his best to get movement out of the tree trunk using his tried and tested technique of abusing it. Suprisingly, this didn't work! By the time the game started he had worn himself out and made little noise throughout, despite the poor performance.
Stropometer - 4
Grassington Home 25/02/2012 [26 Feb @ 9:10pm]
Gary must have had a very calm period since Grindleton's last game. The team were expecting him to be on his best form after such a long stint away from the touchlines. Unfortunately for Gary's beloved fans, he was on his best behaviour. I don't even think he uttered a sound throughout the game - how very odd!
Stropometer - 0
W.F.C Clitheroe Away 03/03/2012 [5 Mar @ 4:06pm]
Grindleton travelled to their local rivals with the expectance of the seasons biggest strop being unleashed. Yet after 90 minutes of little action from the touchlines, questions are being asked as to the whereabouts of the old Gary. This briefly got warm when Gary entered the field of play to remind the referee to talk to the home player that sythed down Daniel Sharples, whilst he was booking Mark Wilson. Although this was a step in the right direction, it was no-where near Gary of old.
Stropometer - 6
Grassington Away 10/03/2012 [13 Mar @ 10:34pm]
Gary seemed to be a little more tetchy than he has been of recent at Grassington. I don't know if it was the horribly long drive, the poor performance, or the disasterous condition he found when he arrived. He wasn't happy with the excuse given that the home team would have called it off but it was past midday when they saw the pitch. Apparently you can't call a game off after then, much to Gary's bemusement.
The way his team performed did little to boost his spirits as flickers of the old Gary sparked into life with the occasional blast of abuse flooding onto the pitch from the touchline. How I miss the days of airbourne flags.
Stropometer - 8
Embsay Home 17/3/2012 [19 Mar @ 10:26pm]
Gary is beginning to come back to form. Is it because his secret lover Geoff was watching the seconds leaving him a lone figure on the touchline? Who knows. Throughout the first half, he was quiet, even when Sharples went down with a suspected broken leg. All his built up aggression, or pain at missing Geoff, was unleashed on R.Fawcett when he was pushed into a forward role towards the end of the game due to injury. His cartilage damage prevented him from running but Gary demanded that he chase down loose balls. An argument erupted between the two with Gary's own dialect emerging for a rare period this season.
Stropometer - 6
Embsey Away 24/03/2012 [26 Mar @ 3:28pm]
Unfortunately Gary wasn't present on the touchline for this performance with rumours of himself and lover Geoff rekindling their love affair in the Lake District. Will we ever hear his grunts, or see his face turn that lovely shade of red as spit shoots from his mouth whilst in mid-rage? I hope so
Ighton Leigh Home 29/03/2012 [30 Mar @ 11:44am]
With the Strongbow Stand bursting at the seems, Gary was under pressure to perform. Either that or he felt the need to show off as lover Geoff was in the crowd. Gary started his tirade of abuse when Chadwick missed a sitter, something that former striker Gary would never have missed, apparently. He was then involved in the sending off of the Ighton Leigh player after pointing his trusty flag for a goal kick. This invited a tirade of abuse towards Grindleton's favourite linesman, who has never backed down from a verbal confrontation before and gave as good as he got.
The verbals between Gary and the player from Padiham became quite heated, yet unfortunately a fitting translator for each party was unavailable.
For the remainder of the game, Gary seemed quite calm as he watched his team ease to victory. It wasn't until the final whistle blew that it all kicked off again, as the opposition accussed him of ruining the game. Gary, flag firmly in hand should the events turn violent, grunted his response with the occasional swear thrown in for good measure.
Again was all this for the benefit of showing his strength to lover Geoff?
Stropometer - 9
Carleton Away 31/03/2012 [2 Apr @ 10:44am]
For the second time in three weeks, Gary disappeared on a saturday afternoon. The destination is unknown, but after his impressive display against Ighton Leigh, could he have swept Geoff off his feet and into a shady cabin in the Lake District?
Stropometer - 0
Ighton Leigh Away 03/04/2012 [4 Apr @ 10:51am]
After missing the last game, Gary was back flag in hand. He was however being overshadowed by the opposition manager/linesman who could be heard ranting and raving back in sunny Clitheroe. Gary did spring into life in the second half as strange refereeing decisions tested his patience, as did the constant shouts of offside from his opposing linesman despite Ighton Leigh playing a sweeper ten yards deeper than the furthest Grindleton forward.
Stropometer - 5
Pendle Athletic Away 07/04/2012 [7 Apr @ 9:20pm]
Gary once again spent the weekend away from his beloved Grindleton, apparently without Geoff in tow. More importantly Grindleton managed to get the needed three points without Gary's encouragement. He may however of had some choice words for the finishing in the first half.
Stropometer - 0
Embsay Away 10/04/2012 [13 Apr @ 3:09pm]
After returning from a week away, Gary took his place on the touchline with flag in hand. His week away seemed to calm him down as there wasn't a peep from the sideline for the whole game. With the season quickly coming to a close, it is getting rather worrying that Gary's flag hasn't yet gone airborne. Hopefully there is enough time to see him blow up this season.
Stropometer - 1
Cowling Away 14/04/2012 [17 Apr @ 10:45am]
In a game where Grindleton would need to be at their best, Gary was prepared for a potential drubbing, especially with a very make-shift line up. Despite feeling prepared, he wasn't ready for the refereeing performance that he witnessed. To start with the penalty and booking for Williams saw Gary see red as abuse spewed from his mouth. To be fair, he was correct to do so as Williams was infront of the man he apparently pushed? His temper was further riled when Cowling's goal stood despite a blatent foul on Driver right infront of Gary's nose.
Grindleton's first half performance calmed his nerves but more poor decisions in the second half prompted abusive grunts from the touchline in the direction of the Orange referee.
A mistake from McGrath followed by a collapse of the travelling side saw Gary calm slightly, I guess the final result meant that the referee's error in the first half to grant Cowling a goal, wasn't as game deciding as he first thought.
Stropometer - 6
Grassington Home 16/04/2012 [17 Apr @ 10:51am]
Despite Gary's beloved Geoff being by his side for the evening kick-off, Gary's heart pressure started higher than it should when McGrath decided not to show up without telling anyone.
He soon calmed down when he saw his side cruise into a 3-0 lead, although towards the end of the half his blood began to boil as the opposing linesman seemed too flag happy for Gary's liking. He eventually blew up when he saw Ball's goal disallowed for offside when he was clearly on.
The fact that his side were 3-0 up seemed to calm Gary down, despite the linesman forever flagging for offside against his team.
Stropometer - 5
WFC Clitheroe Away 21/04/2012 [23 Apr @ 4:56pm]
Unsuprisingly it was the local derby that brought out the best of Gary in this seasons stropometer. It wasn't however with the Grindleton players, or even the WFC players, but with opposing linesman Brethy. After WFC had a goal not given, Brethy found it his responsibility to flag for offside for Grindleton's equaliser, despite being unable to name the offending players. This saw Gary explode on the touchline hurling abuse at the linesman in many various ways. The only word however that was able to be translated was 'cheating' The rest was a mix of offensive grunts and farts. This is of course after Gary was accused of cheating for not awarding WFC their goal saying he couldn't tell from where he was stood.
As the game went on Gary continued to abuse Brethy, forever asking if his team were offside. It was reported at the final whistle that Gary confronted Brethy, grabbing his coat lapels ruffling them up before laughing and running off in glee.
Stropometer - 9
Rolls Royce Home 28/04/2012 [30 Apr @ 2:29pm]
Despite seeing his team go down 4-0, not much more than a whimper was heard from the touchlines. At best Gary was introduced into an exchange of opinion with the Rolls winger regarding a throw in. Maybe it was the presence of league officials, the chairman, or even the tetchiest referee known to man that kept him calm. Or just the simple fact that Geoff was there?
Stropometer - 3
Trawden Celtic Away 02/05/2012 [5 May @ 11:51am]
In strong cold winds, the travelling side hoped for Gary's hot head to keep them warm on the hilltops of Trawden. Unfortunately it wasn't meant to be as Gary composed himself in a calm, collected manner throughout, with a brief altercation with the Trawden striker as regards to a couple of offside decisions.
Stropometer - 2
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