Report

Match Report – Mad Moose Vs Norman Wanderers A: 15/04/12

To some it is a disappointment and to some it is a relief, whichever way you look at it the end of the season certainly stirs up emotion for the fans and players of the Moose alike.  To most though there was a real feeling of nervous excitement knowing that a win would put us in with a real strong shout of finishing the season in third place.

Disappointingly the squad wasn’t quite as strong as it had been in recent weeks with Daz (‘chickened’ out), Elvis (groin strain, so in his words he was getting someone to ‘Love me Tender’), Craigo (international fruit machine crisis in Yarmouth), Goodas (Niks second cousin twice removed from Cromer’s fish college graduation), Buddha (on a higher plane of existence) and Martin Lewis (injured during a freak pyramid scheme collapse) all missing.  Furthermore The Fionnisher was only able to make a cameo appearance in the match as he had two big matches for his other team on either side of the Moose game (priorities young man, priorities!).  So with that the talk before the match was who would be partnering Princess up front.  Would Wrighty be the Andy Carroll to Wolfie’s Suarez, would I be the Holt to his Wilbraham, would Tom be the Bodger to his Badger, would Armesy be the French to his Saunders or would Coop be the Laurel to his Hardy?  In fact it was none of these, the Gaffer, big Emile himself was the surprise choice to partner Lil’ Chris.  Perhaps not such a surprise once he told us about his ‘worldy’ the day before for his Saturday team.  I’ll let him tell you about it over a pint, but from what I hear it was an absolute screamer and left him as top scorer for the season (really??!).  Other than that, it was pretty much the Moose’s standard midfield, defence (plus the Sam ‘Norfolk Pele’ Halsey – more on this in the end of season review) and Bev in net. 

The warm up was pretty unimpressive, with two balls being lost in neighbouring gardens.  But the way I saw it (although I did get a bang on the head from the post whilst pulling off a wonder save in the warm up, so I don’t know how much I’d trust my view of events) the only problems they caused us in the first half were by lumping it up to the big fella up front.  The Gaffer cleverly injured one of their centrebacks though, forcing them to put the big lad at the back.  After that (and before to be fair) it was pretty comfortable for the back five, especially the ‘flawless’ Wrighty (his words).  We were in control, but we just couldn’t seem score that oh so important goal.  The marauding left back (H to the Dog) even had a stone wall penalty turned down by after some audacious trickery in the box. 

The second half saw Norman come into it much more and Bev kept us in it with an excellent save.  The Weasley twins were bossing the midfield, with Richie and Powello doing well just to get close to the wizardly pair.  Fair play to us though we stuck at it, battled for everything and put a real push for a goal in the last 10 minutes.  This is where it all went off.  Mediocre Pete (I think we need to get him a better nickname for next season) hit the bar twice, the second of which saw me celebrating only to see it had bounced on the wrong side of the line.  Your Captain then missed a really difficult header after being put under some unbelievable pressure from their defenders.  Their keeper pulled off a couple of excellent saves.  It looked as though it was going to be a draw and we would have to settle for fourth.  But no, what was this?  Bram, picked the ball up somewhere near the halfway line, danced passed three or four defenders like John Travolta on speed, did an electric slide around the keeper and knocked the ball towards the goal.  It looked for the world that it was heading in under its own steam, but then The Fionnisher slid in to prod home….or did he??!  There were arguments between the brothers G-W over who had scored, where is goal line technology when you need it??!  I don’t care though as we’d scored in near enough the last minute and third was ours (well depending on the Hellesdon result next week) Wham!  Bam! Thank you Bram (and/or Fionn)!  The Gaffer even found time to give the crowd what they wanted, a couple of minutes run out for the retiring old pro Richard Cooper.  A true Moose legend who will be missed by all for his eccentric dress sense, banter and goalkeeping skills.  Enjoy the Pacific Rim young man (not a euphemism) and maybe we’ll see you again (wistful sigh from all).

Well done gents, what an excellent way to end the season.  Fingers crossed that Riverside do the business next week.  You will all be pleased to hear I’m sure that I have been working on my Magnus Opus, my Paradise Lost if you will, and the end of season review will be with you next week when I know the final standings (that’s why this is a bit shorter than usual, I have got a job to do as well you know!).  Until then get your passports out, get the sun tan lotion on and get on that plane to far away climes.  The seasons over boys so get out there and enjoy the summer.

To paraphrase the So Solid Crew classic: Two multiplied by ten plus one, Captain B done.