Report

This weeks two’s fixture saw the boys facing a mid table Glyn side who’s league position suggested a good opportunity for three points and maybe even a rare goal for Ozzy.

The sun was shining this week; and having had a few mid week hits on E-Harmony; manager Joe Fletcher was in unusually high spirits. Following a bit of pre-match banter (aimed mostly at Tom Boyle for his ropey pink t-shirt) Paul Jalil finally rocked up with the kit (fine) and the boys could start preparing for the game. (In future PJ - clothes need soap and water when you wash em mate).

Anyway after Fish ran back to his car to find his hair band (fine) Fletcher could finally get the boys in for a warm up. Cue Shane Ward aka Tim Howard aka John Gregory to rid the boys of any energy they had pre kick off!

Suitably knackered we lined up as follows; Adil kept his place in between the sticks, Fletcher, Pickard, Jalil and Gorman made up a strong back four. Clubber Lang made it through the warm up in one piece so started on the right of midfield, Happy Halliday and Shane made up a strong CM and fish started LM for lack of a better option. Up top were Tom Boyle and Pervy Johnson, who was looking to end his goal drought; which was now lasting longer than a Duracell battery on red bull.

Anyway, the Onions kicked off and looked to press the oppo from the outset. Keen to overplay at the back, Ozzy and Boyle pressed them well and were unlucky not to be rewarded for their early efforts. Jalil & Halliday came close from two well worked corners and after 15 minutes Thorns should have been in front! (How many match reports have said that over the years)?

Clubber Lang looked a bright outlet wide right while the two boys in the middle battled well dominating things in the air and looking to pop it about when they could! A hard, bobbley pitch made good football difficult so Thorns were guilty of going a bit route one. Glyn looked decent in central midfield but never really threatened the boys at the back who stayed switched on and never looked like conceding. Adil was untroubled and despite good work from the boys up top and a few half chances Thorns went in 0-0 at the break.

So cue an inspired Joe Fletcher team talk…? Without Leights for their secret ‘little chat’ who would he turn to for wisdom? Talk at the break was about passing it better and giving their lad in CM a kick. After a predictable ‘lets play to our strengths’ word from Fletch, fish adjusted his hair band and we were sent back out suitably inspired.

Thorns therefore started the second period well. Had Tom Boyle not lost his pace (or the ability to stay onside) we might have nicked an early goal. Glyn again looked bright in midfield but light upfront so Thorns kicked on in search

of a goal. Clubber had an inspired 15 minutes wide right, mugging their full back 2-3 times without Thorns being able to capitalize. Then cue thorns first good chance. Gorman (who looked solid throughout) did well at right back before feeding either John or Clubber (can’t remember) who set Boyle off through the middle. A tidy first touch and a look up saw Fish booming down the left waving for it like a granny at a bus stop! Despite a good square ball from Boyle; Fish was unable to beat their 40 year old full back and so tiredly blazed over from distance. (Waste)

Thorns were then awarded a free kick after some great work from Oz put Lang through on goal only for the centre half to handle and the chance was gone. Free kick 25 yards out and surely a red card for the player? No apparently bearing down on the keeper isn’t a goal scoring opportunity! (understandable if its Oz clean through)

Their winger then looked to be away down the right until a quick headed intervention from Fletcher saw Thorns opportunity to break. Seeing the chance for a rest Fish urged Fletcher to kick on and he set off like a train towards the oppo’s box. Boyle released down the left did well to beat his man before getting his head up and the look on his face suggested….

‘quality I actually beat someone for pace; I’m too shit faced now to take another one on though; thank fuck someone’s in the box….hold on what the fuck is Fletcher doing there! Fuck it I’m too slow and tired to do anything else and he is stood in 40 yards of space; what could go wrong…..bollocks I’ll give him it.’

Fletcher – ‘shit I never actually thought the ball would come to me I just wanted to get forward. NO NO Tom don’t cross…...shit it’s coming to me! (Looks around) there’s actually no one near me…I’m going to score the winner!! Finally I’ll have everyone’s respect, maybe even their friendship!!’……

In fairness to the keeper he was straight off his line but never the less a one on one from 10 yards should have seen us win the game. I don’t think anyone backed him to score though! (No offence Fletcher). Thorns created little after this.

Glyn rallied late on with a few half chances; a free kick forcing a smart save from Adil who had a good game in goal. Takki came on late and looks one for the future. All in all a disappointing point but Thorns never really dominated Glyn who were well in the game but had nothing up front. Positives were a very rare clean sheet and more ammo to use on Fletcher who had the opportunity to be a hero but instead let everyone down.

On a serious note; Adil looked solid and was unlucky with MOM. Gorman was solid at full back and never gave the ball away. Pickard and Jalil both had good games at CB neither looking troubled in the air or on the deck. Fletcher despite a horrendous miss had a faultless game at LB. John and Stu both battled tirelessly in CM and had good games against two good players for

Glyn. Clubber looked dangerous throughout providing good width. Boyle set up two good chances that we wasted. Fish took a couple of half decent corners…….and oh yeah Oz played. Off to the pub! Fletchers round!