SUBS FOR THE NEW SEASON
20 Jul 2009

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN I'M AFRAID. PLEASE CAN EVERYONE BEGIN TO PAY THEIR SUBS FOR THE NEW 2009/2010 SEASON AS SOON AS YOU CAN (AMOUNT TO BE AGREED SHORTLY) PLEASE CAN YOU AT LEAST PAY £50 OF THE SUBS BEFORE THE SEASON STARTS.

PLEASE SPEAK TO NEWLY APPOINTED AJ FOR DETAILS OF HOW TO PAY THE SUBS.

THANKS ALL.

JOKE OF THE WEEK
29 Jul 2009

CLASSIC ONE LINERS!!

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"

My missus has just gone into hospital with 2 black eyes and a broken jaw! It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio

S*X therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its B******S!!

They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After 8 pints I talk S**T and can't drive!

Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled ?" "No" she replies "its just regular porn you sick B*****D"

A mate of mine has just told me he's S******G his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"

A biker goes to the Doctor with hearing problems "Can you describe the symptoms to me". "Yes.....Homer is a fat yellow lazy B*****D and Marg is a skinny bird with big blue hair!!"

My black-eye & fat lip suggests that 'up the backside'....was definately the wrong answer, when my girlfriend asked me 'where are you taking me for my birthday?'

And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. "It's the best in the world", he said. "What type is it?", I asked and he said "ten past twelve".