Royal Rumble 2009

It's that time of year again, a chance to celebrate the achievements of the season, to look back, to reflect, to laugh and, for some, to cry!

More importantly it's a chance to kick lumps out of your mates in the annual Rumble!

Detailed itinerary:

10.00 - Meet at Market Road, Islington.
10:20 - Royal Rumble Kick Off.
12:00 - To the Quays (the top bar has reserved for us and food will magically appear).
13:20 - Cooley tells you about the Man City/Tottenham bet he won even though he actually didn't make the correct prediction. You don't mind, at least he's stopped banging on about Man Utd winning the league.
13:30 - The chairman, secretary and treasurer talk about important stuff.
14:00 - Awards.
14:01 - Badu realises he didn't bring his wallet with him.
14:15 - Cooley starts swearing, a lot and loudly.
15:00 - FA Cup Final Kick Off.
15:02 - Drogba takes a dive.
15:03 - The ref buys it and Chelsea take the lead from the spot, Joel's happy and everyone knows about it.
15:40 - Get to the bar before the half-time rush.
15:47 - The half-time rush.
15:48 - Cooley puts you in a headlock, he thinks it's funny.
16:20 - Cooley starts a few Hackney songs, you like him again.
16:34 - Joel starts shouting you're not exactly sure what he's saying, but Everton have equalised and he thinks Ashley Cole should have gone to the ball, man.
16:49 - Despite an injury-time scare, Everton hold on for extra-time.
16:55 - Extra-time, the tension, no one speaks. Well everyone except Cooley who is still singing Hackney songs/banging on about Man Utd.
17:30 - Everton have won the FA Cup, Petr Cech let one through his legs in the last minute. Both he and Joel are in tears. The Hackney boys are compassionate to the end, singing a rousing rendition of "We saw you cry on the tele, cry on the tele..."
17:37 - Osh and Colin begin to argue about which one of them was the faster 20 years ago. You suspect it was Colin, but Osh is equally convincing. The argument is not resolved and you suspect it will resurface in the future.
17:45 - You start telling everyone in the squad that they're as important to you as your family is.
18:03 - You tell the barman that he is as important to you as your family is.
18:05 - No one's taken the P**S out of Badu for 10 minutes, don't worry it won't be long before someone remembers something he's done in the last year.
19:02 - Anything could happen from here on; the best you can hope for is to get home safely at some point in the next 24 hours.