Best Trainer: Going to put it out there and say Dolby before he stopped turning up. Although his tactic of trying to injur his team mates to secure himself a starting place was somewhat questionable. Based on current training greats... Big al? Worst trainer: Bucko. Mr 'I don't like this so I'm going to play for the other team whilst wearing my all in one romper suit' And he brings 74 pairs of gloves to training and only lets someone else use a fingerless pair of coal miners mitts. Most Skilful: I've got sick skills, I once did three keep ups in a row. Other that that, Lee. 'Oh know you didn't' - Oh yes he did. Bigest Moaner - Rog0. Love the bloke but if I have to hear about how it's now like it was in his day one more time.... Joker - Me 100%. I am literally the funniest guy I have ever met. Fastest - Dan Quittenden. Oh know wait he doesn't play anymore. Nathan. Intelligent - Me â€“ Who else could pull off leaving Strokes, joining a rival team, come back then be made skipper. Evil genius. Least Intelligent â€“ Bucko. Just look at every decision he makes both on and off the pitch. Dress sense â€“ Bucko. Obviously. Although Goose is not far behind. His dress sense is 2002 Nike chav-esq! Hardman â€“ Me. Ask Ronnie. I may be all of four stone but Iâ€™m an absolute weapon. Apart from when I am injured which is most of the time. Other than that I am going to a combo of Nath and Lee. If one of them kicks off the other is there in seconds. They are a dangerous and formidable tag team duo. Heartthrob â€“ Rikki. I am only writing this so his missus sees it, dumps him then he can live with me and the dream of bunkbeds and activities can begin. Lightweight â€“ Mark â€˜The Featherâ€™ Tyman. Longest â€“ Deano. Ridiculous. You canâ€™t help but look at it. Worryingly, it often stares right back at you.
Best trainer.....steve bath worst trainer...jamie hewitt most skillful john hewitt biggest moaner....jamie hewitt the joker....john cookson Fastest..nathan baker most intelligent.....matt wood least intelligent....robbie newbery worst dress sense....bucko team hardman...deano team hearthrob....bethy biggest lightweight....lee palmer longest in shower....past experience....cookie
These answers are by no means the views of anyone else at the club. Best Trainer - apart from myself who gives 100%, 12% of the time. at the moment new big G but overall big al Worst Trainer - could go with any who dont turn up... erm... Deano cos ive never seen him there. Most Skillful - myself excluded, junior had dubs but hes not involved so could go for lee but gonna go with draper just for that one trick that is soo obvious when he goes to shoot and cuts in!! Biggest Moaner - Big al... Jim... Dolby... Big al... Jim... Dolby but gonna go with Roger slightly pipping big al The Joker - everyone laughs at bucko, does that count? Cookson's up there Fastest - Sparky! sorry, thought it said fattest! nath, obviously but i think i'll run him close Most Intelligent - hate bigging people up. would have said greners but he left cos no-one liked him. tel is pretty clever. Least Intelligent - me, jim... robbie seems a bit slow but he's at uni so guess i cant put him. maybe lee (sorry mate) Worst Dress Sense - Bucko every day... all day! robbie dresses himself with his eyes closed but bucko actually thinks he looks good. cookson is close when he doesnt know what colour top he's wearing! Team Hardman - me or draper, put us in a ring and its like Scotty Too Hotty & Grandmaster Sexay - TOO COOL!! also up there are Deano, standard... i fell over trying to tackle him in pre season. old Big G,i reckon he's pretty useful. sparky, when he has had 1/2 pint Team Heartthrob - no question.... http://hotornot.com/rate/profile/Bathez?_message=BAhJIiNZb3VyIHByb2ZpbGUgaGFzIGJlZW4gdXBkYXRlZC4GOgZFVA%3D%3D%0A .... cheers. Biggest Lightweight - sparky, Jim, Who's the longest in the shower - being a regular showerer myself... i know its not 'my precious' draper.
Dean Walker mckenzie replies! Best Trainer No idea! Never been, so can i say me as it should be an embarrassment if I can run harder, longer and quicker than those that do! Worst Trainer Me again, I've asked santa to resolve my issues so i can be there Most Skillful Lee when he wants it, Nathan consistently Biggest Moaner Junior, dude if i thought you couldn't do it, i wouldn't ask The Joker Goose, my brother from another mother! Fastest Nathan over the first ten, me over fifty! Go on challenge me Most Intelligent Really? Cookie for tapping me up! ha ha Least Intelligent Bucko, Pink? Have you seen a mirror? Worst Dress Sense Bucko, stop, just stop! lol Team Hardman On the pitch I win, end of. However, Mooro is a monster and can have my pocket money! Team Heartthrob Draper has always got sweets in his pocket Biggest Lightweight Unless its brandy or tequila, me Who's the longest in the shower Always the chocolate one!
Quimbo! Best Trainer Apart from me, probably Scouse Al. He's always there practicing his toe punts and generally being scouse. Worst Trainer Ricki Draper. Needs all the training he can get....not just in football but training for life in general. Most Skillful Junior. I've seen him pull a few tricks now and again Biggest Moaner Tough one, as Scouse Al does moan about most things. Although again i've got to say Junior....in a proper game that boy moans like a big girl! The Joker Me. Ask Bobby Newbury's calf. Fastest I'm the third fastest and definiely faster than Quethy...but it has got to be Nathan. He makes my average passing look like Beckham's! Most Intelligent Me!! look at my business card Least Intelligent Steven Bath. Just to confirm, he has worked at Blockbuster earning minimum wage for around 10 years. Worst Dress Sense Booookingham. S**T shoes, S**T jeans, S**T shirts, S**T hair. Although Robbie Newbury with his shoe and tracksuit bottoms come a close 2nd. Team Hardman Obviously me. Maybe not on a pitch but i'll smash you up in a ring. Team Heartthrob Definiely me! I actually have a website for all my fans, ask Nat (sorry Rog0, she's my main subscriber!) Biggest Lightweight Ricki "can't down a pint of John Smiths" Draper. Who's the longest in the shower Deano!! Me and Bethy have at least 4 comunal wanks in his car waiting for him after a game.
As this should be about your team mates I have agreed to base it on my playing days with the club (ending 08/09 - double winning season - coincidence?!) Anyway, the questions Bethy? : Best Trainer Had to be Big-Al or Big-G first season, hardly missed a session from first game, Bethy was doing well as i hung up the boots but Bob was most consistent probably Worst Trainer Those that never made it should get most stick, but of those that did, Crusty and Kas didnt like a run! Most Skillful Junior, that boy would have to be kicked if I played him Biggest Moaner Big-Al likes a chunter on the pitch but not at his team (or gaffer), this really comes down to a tough call between Zippy and Goose, and, prior to his reincarnation had to be Goose! The Joker Have never met such a bunch of un-funny lads! Tel always came in with a great story from night before, Goose loved an (unfunny) A**E-slap. Probably Woody, funny without joking. Fastest Terry Taylor Most Intelligent That Adrian that played a few games and got hat-trick on debut was some sort of professor (allegedly) the rest are pretty dense Least Intelligent John Cookson. Left to join Hotel Deville, I mean seriously. Worst Dress Sense Benjamin "Tanktop" Buckingham. I have seen dead junkies with more style. Team Hardman I liked a challenge but was surpassed by Pearcy and then eventual winner Nathan Young - monster. Team Heartthrob Greners gets all the fan-mail, but as he never showers, for all we know, he could be hiding his fan-ny. Biggest Lightweight Mark Ashley - poker anyone? Who's the longest in the shower Worringly few eligible for the category, dirty ditry boys. It has to go to Figgo however, the diminutive winger looked like a Hobbit but took ages to wash his massive 'precious'.
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